Mario and the Mommy Bubble

December 28, 2010 By

With plenty of downtime over winter break, we’ve had plenty of Wii time (something I only allow in moderation on school days).

I was quite enjoying myself letting the kids go to town on Super Mario when they decided to adopt me as their charity project.

“Mommy, we’re going to teach you to play Mario.”
“But you’re both so good. There’s no way I can possibly keep up!”
“We’ll start with the easy levels.”

And that they did. If you ever want to be impressed by your kids, see what they’re doing on their computers and video games. I was particularly amazed at Little Bode’s aptitude.

And horrified by my lack thereof.

Whenever I would die, my mushroom would be resurrected in the form of a bubble the kids needed to pop so I could continue playing. You wanna talk about things you never thought you’d say as a mother?

“CHILDREN, GET MOMMY OUT OF THE BUBBLE…NOW!”

Though believe me, there have been days when I wished for Said Mommy Bubble.

The kids were amazingly patient but I never quite caught on. I figured false confidence would be a good strategy so I started endlessly praising every bad move I made.

Finally, Hadley had enough:

“Stop saying you’re awesome, cuz you’re not.”

Excuse while I go back to my Mommy Bubble….

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, Humor

This Mommy Blogger’s Holiday Confession

December 27, 2010 By

I have systematically and unconscionably bitten the heads off every single gingerbread man in our house.

Psychopath?

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: holidays, Humor

It’s Christmas [Eve] in the [Salt Lake] City

December 25, 2010 By

Since we’ve been married, Jamie and I have alternated spending Christmases with my family and his. Unfortunately, plane tickets are $800 to the Motherland so we were relegated to spending them in Utah. In so doing, we missed my brother Pat’s epic Christmas sweater with battery-operated lights.

Oh wait. This is it.
Though they’re pretty much the same thing.

Jamie’s sister did a fantastic job hosting Christmas Eve. You know that one chick…what was her name again? Oh yeah: Martha Stewart. Well, she has nothing on Tammy Porter who got her start working at the global interior design firm, Gensler.

I’m willing to bet Martha didn’t dine on Pork Tacos with Avocado Poblano Guacamole, Mexican sodas and Sticky Pudding with luscious caramel sauce.

And let us not forgot our darling twin cousins. During our previous attempt at cousin pictures last summer, Bode let Ava do a face plant.

They fared much better this time around.

Back in Canada, Christmas Eve is THE MAIN EVENT with a compendium of appetizers, a gift exchange, the left-right game, playing the bells, a Christmas story and more irreverence than I care to admit.

The year bum darts was introduced was definitely a low point.

Wanting to integrate some of our family’s traditions, Jamie’s sweet sister suggested we do a gift-exchange game at the last minute, which sent Jamie and I scrambling to local stores for just the right gifts. We decided to do a repeat performance of the White Elephant Gift of the Year we introduced last week: a picture of The Great Pumpkin.

I explained the rules and because we had a much smaller group (eight people), I declared we would only do two trades per round. Well, bless their hearts, that crazy Johnson clan misunderstood and thought I meant a gift could only be traded twice and then it was off-limits.

Such corruption of my beloved games is equal unto my reaction when, shortly after Jamie and I got married, they declared the Rook is to be played high and not low.

I have not been able to play my beloved card game with them ever since.

Turns out the joke was on us because Jamie’s pumpkin picture was the very last picture to be chosen and in a twisted turn of fate, he was the one who ended up with it.

He said it was the very best gift exchange ever.


Merry Christmas!!!!!

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Family, holidays, Humor, Jamie, Utah

Have Yourself a Merry Little Christmas

December 24, 2010 By

It’s the most wonderful time of the year!

It started with Bode’s stellar performance at the ward Christmas party. When he wasn’t jostling for position, he was doing this:


At least he showed up. Hadley was M.I.A. for the performance. Her exact location still has not been accounted for.

Speaking of whom, she is DELIGHTED she is finally old enough to wear the coat that Cousin Emily passed down to her years ago. Never mind that the weather has been snow-less and balmy in Denver.


Of course, climate is secondary when it comes to high-fashion, as was evidenced at the Nutcracker a few years ago.


And finally, I may be biased but the Christmas outfits my mom bought Hadley and Bode may be quite possibly the cutest ever. I mean, a TUX? His girlfriend Abigail (featured biting her nail in the top photo) was all over him at church.

OK, it could be because his mom Eva and I were trying to push the two of them together.

It’s never too early.

Hadley and Bode before church on Sunday….



You’ve come a long way, kids.


Let’s hope that rings true for us all.

======

As many of you know, I attended BYU, which is located in Provo, UT. The city’s beloved Provo Tabernacle was ruined by fire last weekend. But this painting “The Second Coming” by Harry Anderson was the only thing that was salvaged from the ashes.


A burn pattern like that is no coincidence.

Let’s remember what the season is about….

Merry Christmas!!!!

XOXXO

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, holidays, Humor

Spreading Holiday Joys

December 23, 2010 By

At the very last minute, I decided to send out our annual Christmas newsletter yesterday.

Only it hasn’t been so annual as of late. It’s the first time I’ve sent one in a few years. The reason is simple: I have a blog. And anyone who loves me reads this blog.

Or isn’t online.

Or is a loser.

I’m kidding but only kind of. :)

I did it partially out of guilt. We have received an onslaught of Christmas letters and cards, which have brought joy to my mailbox this month. But, then I realized that many of the people are not active on Facebook, which is the primary way I keep in touch.

I designed the newsletter using a nifty holiday template from Microsoft. Here’s a little shout-out for them. This week, I’ve been reflecting back upon 2010 and when Microsoft Office selected me as their winner of the Winter Games Contest after so many of you voted me to the finals.

It was one of the highlights of my entire life. Putting my foot in my mouth when I met Wayne Gretzky and having Matt Lauer steal my moment in the spotlight are second-to-none experiences.

I got home from the Olympics and then nothin’. I heard nothin’. It was like Microsoft and I broke up in a text message but without sending an actual text.

Then out of the blue, I got a Christmas care package with Microsoft Office ’10 (on the exact same day my Beta expired), a How to Train Your Dragon DVD, and fun miscellaneous games for the kids.

I mean, really what are the odds I’d receive the package on that day of all days?

You’ll find Microsoft & me under the mistletoe this Christmas.

Wayne Gretzky might be there, too.

===================

On another note, I have fallen in LOVE LOVE LOVE with this family’s Christmas video and have already told the Lord of the Gourds we need to up our game next year:

[vimeo 17455653 w=400 h=225]

Here Comes Santa Claus – A Christmas Video Greeting from Jared Foster on Vimeo.

Talk about making my “Elf Yourself” efforts pale in comparison.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: holidays, Humor

Confessions of a Desperate Mom

December 22, 2010 By

It is tradition for us to visit Santa at our ward’s Christmas party but this year, the organizers declared it a Santa-free soiree.

I’m betting they will be getting coal in their stocking.

So I was faced with quite possibly the most dreadful possibility of all:

Braving the mall in December to see Santa.

And I would have done it two for those darling kids of mine but let it be known, I really really really really didn’t want to to make my semi-annual pilgrimage to the mall during its busiest season.

So imagine my delight when I arrived at the church last Saturday to help decorate for our ward’s Christmas party, only to discover I went to the wrong building.

OK, that wasn’t the delightful part. The delightful part was another congregation was there celebrating and the kids were bouncing off the walls waiting for Santa.

Frustrated over my navigational error, I slumped out to the car where I found Jamie and the kids patiently waiting. But then, what to my wondering eyes should appear but a miniature sleigh beat-up clunker pull up with Mr. and Mrs. Claus.

“Jamie, THAT IS SANTA.”
“I’m well aware of that, Amber.”
“We HAVE to let the kids visit with Santa. THIS IS OUR CHANCE.”

We were pressed for time and it would have been impolite to invite ourselves to another ward’s party, let alone cut in the front of the line. And so I did what any mall-phobic, stressed-out mama would do as her husband rolled his eyes in exasperation:

I hijacked Santa outside the building.


No worries. I’ll return him by Christmas Eve.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, holidays, Humor

Quite possibly the best gift exchange prize ever

December 21, 2010 By

Since Jamie and I landed from New York City, we have been involved in a non-stop frenzy. I high-tailed it over to this girl’s holiday party at school.
As you can tell she was very happy to see me. Really.

A couple of hours later was our dinner group’s annual Christmas party. We had a delicious dinner, followed by a gift exchange. This has been a tradition in my family for as long as I can remember. Everyone brings a wrapped gift and we draw numbers to determine the order we select our gifts. Those with the lowest numbers are pretty much stuck with their gifts while the higher number can trade for the best gifts.

A few years ago, Wendy bought some Bronco’s fuzzy dice that got passed around and then resurrected each year for the gift exchange.

This year, we have the ultimate replacement:

Wendy unwrapped a picture of Jamie and The Great Pumpkin in a “Love” frame.
I still can’t figure out why it became the ostracized gift of the year.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: holidays, Humor, pumpkins

It’s Christmas Time in the [New York] City!

December 20, 2010 By

Even though I’m admittedly not a huge fan of NYC (especially after a not-so memorable trip last summer), I’ve dreamed of going there with Jamie at Christmastime.

Last week, I got my wish and we did a lot of things on my bucket list:

The tree at Rockefeller Plaza.

A late-night stop at Time Square.

This was fun though we were disappointed at only finding exorbitantly overpriced franchised restaurants there and so we made the long trek back to our hotel hoping to stop along the way. You know that claim New York is the city that never sleeps?

We couldn’t find anything open along that popular 2-mile stretch besides cheap pizza and sleazy bars.

We stopped by the home of the Rockettes. As an homage to them, we did our own Rockettes-esque kicks.

Just in case you didn’t notice, those are our feet at the bottom of the picture and yes, that is about as high as we could get them.

Don’t expect to see us performing at Radio City Music Hall anytime soon.

One afternoon, we went in search of chestnuts roasting on an open fire. After wandering around to no avail, we came upon 34th street, wherein I exclaimed, “WHERE IS MY MIRACLE?”

Turns out I found them there in front of the renowned Macy’s and we were delighted to try chestnuts for the first time.

One of our favorite movies is Serendipity starring John Cusack and Kate Beckinsale. In case you haven’t seen the romantic-comedy, it is set in NYC at Christmastime so upon Jamie’s recommendation, we recreated our own Serendipity date.

We went skating at Central Park.


OK, admittedly we didn’t actually go skating. It was a combination of my snobby Canadian skating roots where I’d skate for miles for free on frozen rivers and the fact we would have had to drop almost $40 to skate for a 1/2 hour.

We stopped in at the famous Waldorf Astoria.


We went to Serendipity, the charming restaurant the movie was based upon where we ate burgers drowned in delicious barbecue sauce and their signature frozen hot chocolate.


This was only a small sampling of what we crammed into our NYC stay but if I had to sum it all up, I’d say it was all about….

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Humor, Jamie, travel

The Greatest Gift of All….

December 16, 2010 By

…Is not Fat Kitty, whom we found snuggled up like a present under the tree.

But rather, my mother-in-law Linda whose selfless service has helped us time and time again. As you know, we were in mourning when my in-laws moved to Utah last year and there isn’t a day that goes by that we do not miss them.

Linda recently flew to Denver to watch our kids for 10 days during our cruise. Jamie and I have been on-hold with an important trip to New York City. At the very last minute, it was confirmed we needed to fly out there Wednesday (yesterday) through Friday (tomorrow).

Ever tried to find someone to watch your kids during the day and overnight the week before Christmas?

Ain’t happening.

While I had several friends offer to help during the day, nighttime was a battle and only Linda came forward.

OK, so we begged, pleaded and were just short of bribing her. None of it was needed because she graciously offered to help us.

I feel horribly about inconveniencing her during such a busy time of year. We’re spending Christmas at their house in Utah and had planned to fly in the day prior. “Linda, I can come out a few days early with the kids to help you prepare for Christmas,” I offered. It was the least I could do.

She called me back a few minutes later. “You know what, Amber? The biggest favor you can give me is by staying at home with your kids and NOT coming early to ‘help.’”

Touché :)

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: holidays, Humor

The art of juggling

December 15, 2010 By

“How do you do it all?”

I get asked this question a lot. Simple fact of the matter is I don’t. No one can. While I may have many, many balls in the air, it’s inevitable one…or two…or all of them will eventually drop.

That about describes last week. I have a lot of travels in December, several writing deadlines, all the regular frenzies associated with the holidays and my commitment do quality daily activities with my kids.

And so I tried to cram them all in at the same time.

It started with my Christmas baking for neighbors and visiting teachees.


This year’s menu included chocolate caramel squares, almond rocha, whipped shortbread, swirled snowball cookies and eggnog snickerdoodles.

I think I gained 10 pounds just looking at this list.

Then, I cranked out some pretty major articles back-to-back and returned the favor of my friend Monica by watching her kids. In the midst of this frenzy, I learned the Young Women at church were in charge of our ward’s Christmas party decorations and we had zero budget. So, I volunteered to take the kids up to the mountains to pick pine cones.
You know, in my spare time.

Jamie staged an intervention around The Pine Cone Incident, “You are taking on too much. You need to stop opening your mouth because you can’t do it all.”

He was right. That very week, there was some ball dropage when I forgot I was supposed to volunteer in Haddie’s class. I was home with sick Bode that day so couldn’t have gone anyway but the simple fact is I hadn’t written it on the calendar. And I hadn’t called to cancel until I realized my error the day after.

I emailed Haddie’s teacher and apologized profusely. I never heard back.

Evidently, she’s a more accomplished juggler than I.

I think I just figured out my 2011 New Year’s resolution.

© Crazy Bloggin’ Canuck–A Denver Mom’s Blog
Filed Under: Bode, Hadley, outdoors
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